oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
