Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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