But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
