I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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