i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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