Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize