I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
