So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
