I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
