your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
