the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
