I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
