Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
