Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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