That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize