What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
