She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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