he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
