i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
