They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
