Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
