Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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