we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize