YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
