My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We have so much sex to catch up on
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize