I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
