i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
