I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize