Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm lost and stupid without you.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Randomize