Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
