He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
