I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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