how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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