That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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