I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
