I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she told me i tasted like america
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
