She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
