in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
