I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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