the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she smelled like a LAN party
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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