yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
