The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
