Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
