Already got asked if we're dating
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
