dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
