you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
