Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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