i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
