I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
