He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize