i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
