awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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