She's JV to your varsity
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
