I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize