It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize