Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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