office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
