I puked a lego.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
