he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
