he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
