Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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