HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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