we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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