please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
